Why am I writing this?
You may very well wonder if it is not a bit late to ask this question! 😊
Indeed!
I have previously pondered and continue to do so, and ask myself, if I have ever needed a website of my own and publish about my life.
But then I have many-a-times been told to publish such life experiences. I suppose I did have a sort of “different” life than many. Hence whenever someone, either from professional or personal life, heard about it, it was always suggested that I should definitely write about those at some point in time, a “book” being the obvious medium.
I was told that some of my stories could become inspirational. Though on a personal note, I was not sure if those experiences were inspirational enough for it to merit a book to be written on them! 😊
So after many years of being nudged, in 2019 I finally started to think about it; but believed that instead of a book, which becomes a one-time publication and is not inter-active in nature, a website combined with blog(s) would offer greater interaction and a way of on-going communication between the readers and myself. Though my attempt is still to make it read like a book.
So now in April 2020, I am pleased to share this website, which provides an insight into some aspects of my life. The website and the information shared is still work in progress and will always be.
What am I writing about?
What does one write about oneself?
Beyond its dictionary meaning, I must admit that I am not much aware about a real autobiography and what is articulated in it; as I think I have probably not read any; well there might have been a couple, but just cannot recall.
Hence, I thought that I will make it simplistic and share a little bit of everything: personal and professional writings, experiences, anecdotes, work samples and my own thoughts on life, specific blogs from past, as well as some new ones.
Also having crossed a half-century age mark in the last year, I have had quite a few experiences in life.
I was born in a British Colony, brought up across another couple of countries, and my work life led me to the shores of nearly 50 (or perhaps even more) countries. I have had a bit of a nomadic existence for a lot of my life; and in the process have also been blessed to be part of some industry pioneering work.
Professional Background
So, let me start by giving a brief professional background first, as that is relatively easier.
One can say that I am an Investor, Mentor, IT Management Consulting Professional and an Accredited Director. In the recent years I have been associated with start-ups and I have also informally mentored a few of them. I am also a recent Charter Member of TiE.
I have previously been a Senior IT Management Consulting Professional specialising in providing Innovative Business and Technology Solutions to the Banking and Financial Services Industry.
Across 23+ years, I was associated with Capgemini (Vice President and Global Head of Payments), Oracle (Global Head of Payments), and Unisys (Banking Specialist in AEME).
I had the privilege of servicing some of the largest banking organisations across the different regions of the world, which included global financial institutions such as Citibank, Barclays, HSBC, Bank of Ireland, Westpac, Standard Chartered, etc.
I am an alumnus of the MIT Sloan Management School and Narsee Monjee College. I am also, a Fellow of the Institute of Directors and possess a certification of Proficiency as an Independent Director.
Personal Background
Now onto the personal aspect of life, which perhaps is the primary reason for this website, and which is not entirely easy to write about, but I am yet attempting. 😊
I am a widower, after my wife Devika, having passed on in unfortunate circumstances in 2010. While facing my own pressures of dealing with the financial crisis of 2007-08, my wife Devika, went into a state of Psychological Depression and in 2010 she took her own life.
OCD is a condition where an individual becomes excessively obsessed with a habit. But the underlying cause of that is severe psychological depression.
Devika and I were together for nearly 16 years, but did not have children, and hence as a couple were extremely attached.
Her sudden departure in this manner had left me in a state of complete shock.
Due to the turn’s life took post Devika moving on, except for a couple of years, I then did not actively engage in a profession.
I had immediately taken a year’s break from work and life, but after that did return to work. But another couple of years later, I did not see a lot of value in what I was doing; and I think I was also not completely over my pain. So, I decided to once again take a break during which I had some educational pursuits and engaged in some soulful work. I did think at the time, that I will once again return to profession after some time.
But thereafter while assuming responsibilities for the care of my old parents and their home and other affairs, my mother was diagnosed with Cancer and she required treatment and rehabilitation, and she too passed on a few years after she was diagnosed.
Also, all through the last decade, there were many other close family members who suffered from severe or terminal illnesses. In addition, I had some health issues of my own, further compounded by some financial and social setbacks; and as I write this, many of those continue as we are now globally hit by the Covid-19 virus pandemic and its economic fallout!
However, I do not want to write about all of that, as otherwise this would start to read and sound like a sob story 😛, whereas I was advised that it needs to be inspirational! 😀
So, having faced various personal setbacks over a period of more than a decade, one can say that life has indeed been a roller-coaster ride of a different kind, and real fun at times. 😀
On a slightly more serious note, I have faced some of the darkest nights a soul could perhaps encounter in a lifetime. I am by no means suggesting that the pain which I would have suffered is far greater than any other human being, but, both in absolute and in relative terms, it has been an extremely difficult journey.
For an individual who had lived a very high-flying ambitious professional life, and also enjoyed a very good personal life, to face a sudden and complete turnaround where all of it comes to a standstill and turns to zero, is relatively not easy to comprehend and accept.
For the past decade I have lived in the same home where Devika’s event occurred, and I have lived alone and just by myself. I started doing so within 3 weeks of Devika having moved on. The decision was part my own choice, and part due to circumstances. After a point in time, I forgot what a sensitive human physical touch meant and how important it is for any human being’s happiness and survival.
Through it all, I have cried a lot, including even now 😊, smiled, had fun, but more importantly been able to reach out and positively touch upon lives of others who were either low or were in pain.
Many, including my own self have wondered, as to how it is humanly possible for an individual to live all by himself and smile through it all, and yet not feeling one’s own pain, be able to constantly reach out to others and spread love and happiness. 😊
Well let me immediately state that I have no wings on my shoulders, no halo above my head, and I am no Saintly or Guru type individual. If anything, I am probably far more of a mortal than anyone who is patiently reading my story. 😀
Spiritual Outlook
I have used Spirituality and related practices, and subsequently adopting an alternative path towards life (detailed later), as avenues to come out of my own pain, and in the process, help others to do the same.
Living by myself, has led me to leading a life which is more inward, than outward, and has allowed me to do a lot of introspection. As I once read in a quote “There is nothing as certain as silence, stillness, and solitude to introduce you to the secrets of yourself”.
It can be quite “Magical”! 😇 … One can say that at times I realised and felt “God/Divinity”.
I believe that Universe responds in various ways once you “surrender”; and in my case, I surrendered, and Universe did respond!
“Pain comes as a blessing in life to help elevate our soul!”
I am definitely not an ascetic or a hermit or a even complete recluse 😀. I very much live a normal day to day life as most do, albeit in a little more solitude than many, but while weaving as much of a spiritual perceptive as possible into my daily living.
Both Devika and I had always tried to lead a life from a spiritual perspective, she did much more than me. I believe that she was far ahead in terms of her soul journey. She is a beautiful and an enlightened soul. I am not merely saying this because she is my wife, but I have not come across many individuals, who have carried her views on aspects about life as she did.
She had introduced me to that side of life, and we were also associated to a Spiritual Centre in Gondal (Gujarat, India). I am still connected to that place as also my wife’s family which is settled in that town.
The impact which the teachings and writings emanating out of that Divine place had on me, cannot be described in words; and I will probably not even attempt it, except in bits, so that it can help others.
I thank God for brining Devika’s soul into my life and thus uplifting my own soul! Her soul along with Divinity continues to care and comfort me, otherwise it would have been impossible to live a life by myself in the last decade!
Alternate approach towards Life
Having understood life from an alternate perspective, I have shared, as well as used those learnings to touch upon many human lives in a variety of different ways.
I was blessed to be part of some soulful engagements. I expended a large amount of my time doing a lot of work for the society, charities and the community; a lot of which has helped me alleviate my own pain, and in the process, has helped others to come out of their own pain. All with the objective of spreading happiness!
I also had the blessing of constantly getting opportunities to become a Friend, Mentor and Guide to individuals and professionals, by guiding / counselling them with life and career inputs for them to create a holistic living environment which is self-fulfilling to them, and to those who they touch upon in their daily lives.
I provided such counselling and inputs to individuals across a wide range of age groups, between 15 and 90, and irrespective of gender and personal status in life. But most often these have been young people, mostly in their 20’s.
I suppose since we did not have children of our own, God brought these young people into my life to bless me and give me the happiness that comes by guiding the young ones.
That is also a reason why I got associated with the start-up ecosystem, as one of my objectives was to provide a “guardian” type approach to the start-ups, in addition to the Business, Technology and Organisational help which I could provide as a Mentor. Start-up life can be very difficult and I thought my learnings could also be useful to the young founders, particularly in the initial years.
I do believe that it is Devika’s soul, which guides me in life in doing good for others and that she and God directs souls to me who need to be assisted. There is nothing more satisfying than spreading love and making a person smile, and positively touching upon a truly deserving soul, and in the process getting touched as well. That way I have been truly blessed to have been used by God as an instrument for “her” work (I have faith in God in the form of Divine Mother). 🙏
Apart from trying to match Devika’s spiritual level, I have even attempted matching her physical fitness level. In the process, I have undergone a near complete physical transformation, shedding 15 and more years from my physical age! 😊 (the machines say this, not me 😛)!
What is that I wish to convey?
As I stated at the outset, I was never sure if I ever needed to publish my life experiences. Moreover, I have previously not been an author or a writer, and I do not claim to have any such capabilities.
But I do write what comes to me from within my heart and my soul, rather than my mind!
My life has indeed been an incredible journey, having experienced moments of extreme highs as well as lows. But I really have no cause for complain as God has been extremely kind all along!
I would go to the extent of stating that all the pain which comes in life and which I received over the last decade, has been a huge blessing, and it has led to my soul rising to levels which I otherwise could not have achieved in multiple births!
I believe that I have been transformed as a human being, akin to receiving another birth within the same physical life! The experience has been like Devika’s soul merging within mine, and now our combined consciousness is being made use of by God as instrument for her work! 🙏
So, I am now sharing via this website some of these key life experiences and learnings, and my readings, particularly those of the last decade; and I will combine with those with some of Devika’s thoughts and experiences. I will gradually continue to write and share more.
I do not know, and I am not sure if any of these can be inspirational, but yes, if it does touch upon even one soul in a positive way, providing her / him with faith, hope, strength and encouragement, and even more critically helps in that soul touching upon and/or saving another life, then it is all worth the effort!
I want to express my love and sincerest gratitude to God, Family, Friends, Acquaintances, and anyone else who I would have met in my life, as everyone has contributed to my journey. 🙏
Most special thanks and love to my wife Devika (and her memories) who always did and has continued to inspire, guide and uplift my soul. ❤️ As I am writing this, I received a soulful affirmation from her. It follows on the next page.
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” – Gilda Radner
But never lose Hope and Faith, as God is only a Whisper and a Prayer away! ❤️
Assuming after all the above, you liked what you read thus far, there is more on the website, and even more to come! 😀
I thank you for your kind patience and attention.
God bless you! 🙏
“It is not open to everyone to do great things. But everyone can write love and kindness on some human hearts.”
26th April 2020
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